A Sure Thing

Is there such a thing as a "Sure Thing?" Prom night, Wedding night, Birthday, Anniversary? Is there ever a time when you just don't have to work really hard to get some action. You can just wake up in the morning and know it's going to happen- just because it's your turn today. Is it just a myth? Strangely, New Years Eve seems to be the closest thing we have.

The Wifey and I have been watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. One episode introduced the relationship concept of Reachers and Settlers, meaning there is always someone who has to try hard to impress someone who is "better" than the Reacher. I feel that way a lot. Admittedly, I married up, socio-economically, but Wifey has let herself go physically and Daddy in-law isn't paying  her way since we got married (aside from some crisis bailouts). Ultimately her standard of living went down and mine stayed the same or improved, depending on how you look at it.

Don't be alarmed, I'm not going to go into an economics rant right now. This is indeed about sex, but I believe one half of every romantic couple perceives his or her sexual value as higher. Is there any occasion where that farcical sexual value goes out the window? There should be and I'm really frustrated that I can't explain that to her without having the "I have no way of knowing what works for you because of too many extenuating circumstances" talk, again. It's not that I don't have "Game," because I do. Nothing seems to work on her anymore in terms of putting on the moves. Sometimes I want to not have to put on the moves and simply enjoy the fact that I supposedly won the game when I put the ring on it.



Speaking of extenuating circumstances...She wants to go out on dates, but she gets diarrhea when we eat at most restaurants- even if she gets over that by the time we go to a movie and get home- I know she's been leaking fecal matter from 2 inches below her vagina in uncontrollable bursts- define "Deal Breaker!" That event has played out countless times, seriously, more than I can count- perhaps you could call that a "Sure Thing." We can eat at home- I can do all the work (prep and cleanup)- and she's still not happy. A night together at home isn't worthy because it didn't cost enough money and a typical night out costs a lot of money and is almost certainly going to fail- based on 8 years of statistical analysis. (I'm going to skip the dirty hippy health and nutrition being a huge interpersonal incongruence rant for another day too.)

It's not even that I want it to be a definite Go For Launch each time we have a date night, but I'm sick of the pity and the false pretenses. I keep coming back to honesty in this blog, perhaps that's the key here. I don't deal well with veiled meanings. Typing that sentence underlines how much I think like a dude too, which probably isn't helping much!




"Sure Thing"

Love You Like a Brother
Treat you like a friend
Respect you like a lover

You could bet that
Never gotta sweat that [x4]

If you be the cash
I'll be the rubberband
You be the match
Imma be your fuse
Boom!
Painter baby you
Could be the muse
I'm the reporter baby
You could be the news
Cause your the cigarette
And I'm the smoker
We raise a bet...
Cause you're tha joker
Truth tho...
You are the chalk
And I could be the blackboard
And you can be the talk
And I could be the walk

Even when the sky comes falling
Even when the sun don't shine
I got faith in you and I
So put your pretty little hand in mine
Even when we're down to the wire babe
Even when it's do or die
We can do it baby simple and plain

Cause This Love Is a Sure Thing

You could bet that
Never got to sweat that [x4]

You could be the lover
I'll be the fighter babe
If I'm the blunt
You could be the lighter babe
Fire it up!
Writer babe
You could be the quote
If I'm the lyric baby
You could be the note
Record that!
Saint, I'm a sinner
Prize, I'm a winner
And it's you
What can I do to deserve that
Paper baby
I'll be the pen
Say that I'm the one
Cause you are ten
real and not pretend!

Even when the sky comes fallin
Even when the sun don't shine
I got faith in you and I
So put your pretty lil hand in mine
Even when were down to the wire babe
Even when it's do or die
We can do it babe simple and plain
Cause this love is a sure thing

Rock wit me baby
Let me hold you in my arms
Talk with me baby
[x2]

This love
Between you and I
As simple as pie baby
Such a sure thing
Oh is it a sure thing [x2]

Even when the sky comes fallin
Even when the sun don't shine
I got faith in you and I
So put your pretty little hand in mine
Even when we're down to the wire babe
Even when it's do or die
We can do it baby simple and plain
This love is a sure thing
Love you like a brother
Treat you like a friend
Respect you like a lover